He has a name

His name is Kevin.  

This note stabbed me in the deepest recesses of my heart.  His name wasn't mentioned.  No person took the time to personally sign their name.  Not his transplant doctor, nor his transplant coordinator...not even the social worker for the transplant team.  But honestly, they completely wrote Kevin off a while ago.

My beloved husband, partner, best friend, co-parent, advocate, counselor, personal comedian, financial supporter, lover, masseuse, workout partner, dog walker, errand boy, and much, much more died on 11/28/2021.

I am not the only one left behind.  I have six children.

Kevin's death was unexpected. One can never mentally prepare for the loss of a spouse, I believe, even if the spouse is ill for a long time. I have had thoughts about this possibility since 2006 when we found out Kevin only had one functioning kidney that wasn't really functioning as it should.  On March 22, 2018, Kevin received a beautiful gift from a family friend - a healthy kidney.  

Kevin and all the family members living at home were diagnosed with COVID on November 9.  He contacted the transplant team immediately.  You might think that someone with a compromised immune system might be carefully watched over by the transplant team.  They took more than a day to respond.  Their response? We're sorry to hear you have COVID.  He mentioned to them that our family doctor recommended getting monoclonal antibodies.  Their response? Great idea.  He asked if they could help him get them.  Their response? We'll send you a link.  They sent the link a day later on November 11.  We found the closest location to receive monoclonal antibodies was Crookston, MN, which is 260 miles away.  He asked if there was any way he was eligible for closer treatment or in-home treatment.  The answer was sorry. That was the LAST contact he had with the transplant team.  Our internal medicine doctor, on the other hand, insisted on daily telehealth visits.

He was not able to get into the clinic that administered the monoclonal antibodies for 5 days because of the high demand.  We drove up through a winter storm including 45 mph crosswinds with blowing snow.  It was a 13 hour day.  He immediately had an increase in symptoms.  Up until then, he had mild symptoms.  We got home that night and he felt really, really cruddy.  He barely slept that night.  He continued daily telehealth visits with our internal medicine doctor who put him on every medicine he would have received in the hospital.  Kevin did not want to go to the hospital because we had COVID at home and would be barred from seeing him.  He didn't want to be intubated.  He didn't want to die alone in the event COVID won.  We got all the right meds.  He had oxygen.  His CPAP was outfitted with a special bleeder so he could sleep and receive oxygen.  While he was at his worst from 11/18 - 11/22, he started turning the corner.  His O2 levels were better, we could reduce the O2 rate, and he could stay awake, and have conversations, get up to go to the bathroom, and eat.  By Thanksgiving, he looked better.  He was complaining how wretched he felt not having a shower for a week.  Our doctor was encouraged because by 11/28, he was maintaining good oxygen levels on room air. No more oxygen.  He was smiling.  But he felt gross and wanted to take a shower.  He had an appointment for lab work on 11/29. He really felt he couldn't go anywhere looking like he did.  So he went up to take a shower.  Everything sounded normal.  You know how you get to know your partner's patterns.  First I heard the toilet flush.  Then I heard the shower turn on.  I heard the shower run for a few minutes.  Kevin liked a hot shower and waited for the hot water to make its long journey from the basement water heater to the second-floor bathroom.  About five minutes later, I heard a loud thump.  I'll spare the rest of the details other than the fact his death was determined to be of natural causes (likely a heart attack, cardiac arrest, etc.)

On Monday, after Kevin died, as one of Kevin's caregivers I had access to his Mychart account.  I sent a note to Kevin's transplant doctor that Kevin passed away.  It was not negative. I just wanted to let them know.  My access to Kevin's account was immediately terminated. I know they saw the email, because how else would they have known to close his account?

I'm so deeply disappointed with the lack of compassion from this group.  He had a name.  He was my husband, my kids' dad. his parents' son, his siblings' goofy brother, a Scoutmaster, an employee, a lector, a community leader, a friend to many, and he will be missed. I lost the most important person in my life.   Please have some HUMANE person at least sign their name on cards like this so it doesn't look like some robot sent it and acknowledge the person who died.  Please remember that the person reading the note is grieving is not a robot.  

In case you need help, here's what you should have written:

We are so sorry for the loss of Kevin.  We know he was an important part of your family.  Our prayers and thoughts are with you during this difficult time.  

THEN SIGN YOUR NAME. 

An Unleavened Bread Recipe Your 3 year old Could Make (No Yeast Required)

Happy Holy Thursday!  This is a great bread to eat tonight as we celebrate the Institution of the Eucharist.  I was just praying for our First Communicants who, due to the Covid-19 pandemic, will not be able to make their First Communion on the date we had planned.  I pray that this extra time will make them LONG for Jesus in the Eucharist.

Last January I had the pleasure of working with a group of 2-3 year old children in a Level T (Infant Toddler) Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium in Kansas City.  My task was to present how to make bread.  As you can imagine the attention span of a 2-3 year old is very short.  I didn't want to do a leavened bread due to the time it takes to proof the yeast.  We were already short on time, so I presented how to make unleavened bread.

This was their result.  I can't eat wheat, but those that could said they were chewy on the inside and a little crispy (in a good way) on the outside.

I had recently started following an archaeological baker.  She had posted about unleavened bread found in the ruins of Pompeii in a bathhouse, of all places.  With analysis and research, she provided the recipe.  This was the recipe we used with the toddlers.  Families of toddlers might want to give this a try for Holy Thursday!

You can read the whole LONG article here.  This is the recipe we used:

Herculaneum Bath Bread

7 1/3 c. whole wheat flour
3 c. warm water
1 tsp. salt

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. You combine all the ingredients and knead for 15 minutes (tag team if you need to).  The longer you knead, the chewier the bread will become.

Divide the dough into 9 pieces.  Roll each piece into a nice round ball.  Sprinkle whole wheat flour or semolina flour on your work surface.  Flatten each piece with your hand.  If you have a cookie press or butter press, you could make an impression in the dough.  Carefully place the flattened round onto lightly oiled sheet pan a few centimeters apart.  They won't rise or spread very much.

Bake 30 minutes.  Enjoy with hummus, or olive oil!

NOTE:  The 2-3 year olds did not knead the dough for 15 minutes, LOL.  They did it for about 3 minutes.  We divided the dough, let them press it out and we put their initials on each round.  They enjoyed them at snack time.  There was plenty of dough left to make more, which we shared with other atria.

You MUST Go!

Once a year the BCPA hosts a book sale like no other. Head to the old Borders Books in Bloomington, MN at Lyndale and 76th. $118 worth of books in two large boxes. Go!  What are you waiting for?  Leave the check card. Cash or check only!

Why nothing is getting done around here...

Song for a Fifth Child



 Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her his eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.


by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

My little fifth child is just out of the hospital after getting aspiration pneumonia following surgery.  We're just hangin' and I'm good with that.

Julia's Guardian Angel

Dear Friends -
This is our daughter Julia.  She is 13 and has a life threatening allergy to peanuts.  1/100 of a peanut could and probably would kill her if she ingested it.  She could possibly die if she comes into contact with peanuts because her body sends blood rushing to the area touched by the allergen, causing blood to pool in the area (typically extremities) resulting in a drop in blood pressure and possible stroke.

 

She recently met Bullet, an Australian Labradoodle that is a Peanut Detection Dog.  His job is, like a narcotics dog, to sniff out peanuts and peanut residue for people that have life threatening peanut allergies.

On Sunday we called 911 after arriving home from our Montana vacation. Julia had touched something with peanut residue at a restaurant on the way home. Within minutes, her fingers, knuckles and hands were swollen and covered with hives. She must have also brushed her lips because they were swelling up, too.

We've been contemplating getting a peanut detection dog for Julia for almost a year now, but there is just no way we can afford it.

Today we decided we just have to ask for help.

Please check out our fundraising site.

Thank you for taking a look and please pray that Julia will be able to raise the money for a guardian angel.

By the way, we are quite certain that the contact happened when she touched something in the bathroom at the restaurant, possibly the bathroom door.   Whatever it was, it was small enough to not be visible or smell-able because she is overly scrupulous about what she touches.

Thanks,
Cathie

Live Blogging at Irish Fair

My kids are dancing this weekend. Come on down and check them out!!!

Yet another Austen Allegory...

My very favorite character in Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen is Colonel Brandon.  He always does the right thing.  He takes care of his niece.  He loves Marianne Dashwood and, while he sees her falling for Mr. Willoughby, he does the right thing and steps back.  When Mr. Willoughby is proven a cad, Marianne falls heartbroken.  She also falls ill and it is Colonel Brandon, who ultimately needs "an occupation lest he go mad..."  He who had carried her in when she fainted.  Finally, he rides off to get her mother when he can do nothing else.

Today one of my very best friends was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  She will need to remain in the hospital for 6 weeks, followed by 8 months of chemo, then perhaps a bone marrow transplant.

I have been uber busy the last several weeks overseeing Catholic Vacation Bible School.  My dear friend helped to get out our confirmation letters to each student, helped package art kits for craft time and on the very last day of CVBS, gave me a meal.   And while this was all happening, she was moving.  I told her she didn't look like she felt well and she just sighed and said, "Yes, I have been very tired."  Last week, I had three sick children and company coming, so I didn't realize how sick she had gotten and she ended up with having a bone marrow biopsy on Friday, last, one week from when she said she was very tired.

This morning she shared an initial diagnosis of leukemia and lymphoma.  I spent the day crying.  I cried because I was too busy last week to realize she might have needed my help.  I cried because I didn't know the extent of her illness and that she took care of me in my time of need.  I cried because I didn't know how serious it was and felt helpless.  I cried because I love her like a sister, her husband like a brother and her kids like my own.  I paced the house, trying to find things to do to help.  I felt like Colonel Brandon, like I needed an occupation, lest I go mad. 

Her husband called me to tonight to share the full details.  Finally those of us who have been asking how to help, know what they need.  That's no consolation, but at least we have an occupation so we can, at the least, feel like we're helping.

If you have time, can you say a prayer to Blessed Fr. Anibal asking his intercession on my friend's behalf?  He'll know who you are talking about without having to name her because he's hearing many, many prayers from those of us who got her request to pray for his intercession.  Click on the picture for his intercessory prayer.

Regardless of your denomination, please pray for my friend.  We need a miracle.  Her husband and 4 kids need one, too.

 

2nd Annual John Brunstad Memorial Run

On April 6, 2011, my dear brother-in-law, John died in his sleep from complications of Type-1 Diabetes.  He was an avid runner, having many marathons under his belt.  To remember John, and to help support Diabetes research, my sister has organized the 2nd Annual John Brunstad Memorial Run on July 20, 2013 at the beautiful Red Cedar River Trail in Menomonie, WI (just about an hour away).

If you are a runner, a walker, or know someone with Type-1 Diabetes, please consider participating.  There is a 10K and a 2K option (which is what my family will be doing). If you can't make it, please pray for good weather and a great turn out.

Do you ever feel this way?

 

from Sandra Boynton's Philadelphia Chickens

sung by Meryl Streep
 

 

Nobody Understands Me

Nobody understands me, although I wish they would. Nobody understands me. I hate being misunderstood. 1   Nobody understands me, no matter how I try. Nobody understands me, and I can’t understand why.   When I think of all the glorble snop I’ve tried so hard to explain! They all look amused, or a little confused. Why can’t they see what I mean? (It’s very snooffly.)

Nobody understands me, though memmily blitt each day. Nobody understands me, but I guess zooglobble that way.   How can I make you understand? How can I make you see? Why does my queckery biffle you so? Where will this ezzleboo dornut go? What do explectionary inuews know? When will you yuddle for me?   Nobody beezifies me. Nobody febbin ud. Kibblezy deen voo nizee! I hate being misunderstood.

 

 

1. Could be heard as "Miss Understood"?

 

I do...

To all the mom's out there...

No Sugar Added - Nut Free Energy Bars - SunButter Balls and Cherry Garcia Balls

I cannot eat Larabars because I have a tree nut allergy.  At Christmas, I make the most divine Sun Butter Cups (think Reese's without the Peanut Butter because of our SEVERELY allergic kid).  Said child mourned the fact she, too, could not have Larabars, which are a staple for several of my children.  So, I came up with this truly divine concoction.

These are not sugar free.  I just don't add any additional sugar above and beyond what is in the ingredients.

SunButter Balls

10 dates, pitted and soaked in boiling water to soften, then drained
1/4 c. cocoa
1/3 c. SunButter
Optional Add-ins:
2 Tbsp. Chia seed
3 Tbsp. Hemp seed
3 Tbsp. raw sunflower seeds
3 Tbsp. chocolate chips

Place the dates in a food processor or blender like "The Ninja" and process them until they are finely chopped.  Add the cocoa and SunButter.  Puree until combined.  If you don't want them smooth, just process until mixed.  Remove from the processor and add any "Add-ins" by hand.  Shape into balls and store in an air-tight container. 

With the crunch of the seeds and chocolate chips, these taste like peanut butter cups without all the allergens.

Cherry Garcia Balls
(I love Cherry Garcia Ice Cream - I'm sure this is much better for me than ice cream.)

10 dates, pitted and soaked in boiling water to soften, then drained
1/4 c. cocoa
1/3 c. dried cherries, soaked in boiling water to soften, then drained
Optional   Add-ins:
2 Tbsp. Chia seed
3 Tbsp. Hemp seed
3 Tbsp. chocolate chips

Place the dates in a food processor or blender like "The Ninja" and process them until they are finely chopped.  Add the cocoa and cherries.  Puree until combined.  If you don't want them smooth, just process until mixed.  Remove from the processor and add any "Add-ins" by hand.  Shape into balls and store in an air-tight container.  

These are seriously addictive, but totally squelch any chocolate or sugar cravings I might have.

Enjoy!

St. Patrick's Day

Our St. Patrick's Day will revolve around four of our six children dancing in their first ever Irish Step Dance performance.  Today our day is full.  Hubby and oldest son attended our Archdiocesan Men's Conference.  All four kids have a pre-show dance practice as I write this and this afternoon, three children sing at Mass with the Children's Choir.  With Mass out of the way, we will focus on St. Patrick tomorrow.

We're an Irish bunch here.  My husband is half Irish.  I am probably a quarter Irish, maybe more like an eighth...I want to be a quarter :-).  So, is it any wonder we have four children with Irish names or named after Irish descendants?  My husband and I were too broke buying our first house to go on a real big honeymoon, but we took a "second" honeymoon after a year and a half of marriage to go to Ireland.  And, taking Irish Step Dance was a dream come true for my girls and one boy.  The others go along.

Today when we get home from church, I will be putting the girls' hair in tiny curlers so they have the springy Irish curl (no wigs, please).  That will take about an hour.  One daughter has waist length hair.  The other has uncooperatively straight hair!  That will be followed by Tylenol, but I digress...

Tomorrow I want to be all about St. Patrick's Day.  We will feast on Green Scones (recipe to follow), rashers of bacon and green tea.  After we finish breakfast and get ready, we will have a quick lunch before heading out to the Day of Irish Dance at a local exhibition hall.  We will finish up our day by eating at our favorite family restaurant run by an Irish family.  Every year they put up a new calendar with the countdown to St. Patrick's day starting January 1st!  Got to love that!

Happy St. Patrick's Day.  I hope you will be wearing the green and eating or drinking something that comes from Ireland.

St. Patrick's Irish Scones
(AKA Mint Avocado Scones)

2 c. Bisquick (so sue me...the recipe works, okay?!)
1/4 c. sugar
1/2 c. mashed avocado
1/3 c. milk
1 tsp. mint extract
3/4 c. chocolate chunks or chocolate chips (optional, but many gave up chocolate for Lent here, so it is not optional!)
1-2 Tbsp. sugar

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Cut the avocado into the Bisquick and sugar.  Add the chocolate chunks and combine.  Add milk and mint extract.  Stir just to combine.  Place dough in a round on a lightly greased cookie sheet.  Pat and press down to flatten into a circle about 1" thick.  Cut with a sharp knife and, if possible, separate a bit.  Sprinkle top with sugar.  Bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown.  Cool slightly and enjoy with a good cup of Irish coffee.

Our Lady of Guadalupe Breakfast Muffins - Egg free, Dairy Free, Wheat Free

We were looking for a special recipe for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on Dec. 12.  The kids love starting out our day with a recipe for the Catholic Saint 'o the day.  Since we are back to no wheat, these looked like a recipe I could easily modify.  What a hit!   They loved them so we had them, again, today.

Egg-free, Dairy-free and Wheat-free Mexican Chocolate Muffins
Prep: 15m 

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Grease muffin tins or line with paper liners.
3/4 cup canned lentils or garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
2 Tbsp. chia seed meal mixed with 1/2 hot water (or equiv. egg replacer for 2 eggs)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup cooking oil
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa

I combined the beans and chia seed/water mixture in the blender until it was smooth.  I added the rest of the above ingredients and blended until well combined.

In a separate bowl I combined:

1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/4 cup oat flour
1 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 cup chocolate chips
3 Tbsp. hemp seed (or you can add 1/4-1/2 c. nuts here...we're allergic)
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum

Add the wet ingredients from the blender to the dry ingredients and blend until combined.  Pour into prepared muffin tins.  Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes.  Let cool 10-15 minutes for easy turn out.

Dust tops with confectioners sugar, if desired.

So much for good news...

I'm sorry to say that I no longer trust the medical professionals.  My last post was to announce that the allergist cleared my 5 year old of his wheat, egg and possibly even dairy allergies.  She prescribed slowly introducing wheat into his diet, followed two weeks later by egg, then dairy at the beginning of the year.

Fortunately, I trusted my instincts and went slowly.  One month after slowly introducing wheat back into his diet, he erupted in a serious case of eczema all over his body.  Nothing else has changed.  The poor kid is miserable.

That is because an allergic reaction, an IgE response, is different from an IgG response.  He may not be allergic (no IgE response) but he is definitely still IgG sensitive.  And that stinks.  So, we're back to no wheat, still no eggs and definitely no dairy.

The worst part is that I feel like I wasted my money.  I feel let down by the medical professionals, again.  I wish I had unlimited funds to have him tested for more foods than the five or so we had him tested for two years ago.  I would have a full panel done so that I can see what else might be causing his growth issues and his skin problems.

Back to the drawing board...

We interrupt this blog vacation for a major announcement!

This is good news for me, bad news for those with wheat allergies!  My little man has grown out of his wheat allergy!  Praise the Lord!  So, we're still re-introducing wheat slowly so his intestines don't freak out. 

We found this out on November 9th.  So, over the last three weeks, we have been slowly adding wheat, a few crackers and macaronis at a time and voila!  no reaction.

However, he still is positive for dairy (high on skin test, low on RAST).  The other interesting news is that he did not test positive in the RAST test for egg, but the skin test was mildly positive.  That's the next thing to try.  Dairy won't be tried until the new year.  So, after a month of introducing wheat back in, we can try egg.  Then after a month, we MIGHT try dairy.  He had dairy accidentally last week and had hives around his mouth, so I'm dubious that he's safe, but we'll see.

So, that's my good news.  Here's one way we celebrated yesterday.  At Thanksgiving, my 13 year old daughter made pumpkin pie tarts.  To humor me, she made them without eggs.  We made a double batch of egg-free pumpkin pie filling because she was going to make a pumpkin pie for another Thanksgiving celebration, but ended up not, so we had extra.  I ended up using the extras with a 5 star Paula Deen Pumpkin Bar recipe to make these:

Egg free Dairy Free Pumpkin Bars
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
First - combine in a medium sauce pan: (This can be used as an egg-free dairy-free pumpkin pie filling.)
 1 15oz can pumpkin
3/4  cup  brown sugar, firmly packed
1 1/2  cup  water
6 1/2  Tbsp  cornstarch
1  tsp  allspice
1/2  tsp  salt
1/4  tsp  ground cloves
1/2  tsp  ginger
Cook over medium heat until mixture begins to thicken, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat.  Mine was cool.  Allow to cool a little.  Put in mixing bowl and  add:
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
Mix at low speed until thoroughly combined and the batter is smooth. Spread the batter into a greased 13 by 10-inch baking pan. Bake for 30 minutes. Cut into bars.

These bars received HIGH marks all around from my kids who don't normally like pumpkin bar.  They were almost a little gooey and oh-so-yummy.

Now, back to my blog vacation.

Unexcused Absence

Renamed - Unexcused Absence.
I apologize for my absence.  Life has, I'm afraid, caught up with me.  After my surgery in August, complications that followed, school starting and me, not feeling better, blogging has fallen to the back burner.  I must admit that I really haven't had the gumption.  Want to know something?  I'm behind on everything:  school, reading, writing, teaching.  Everything including email.  Before surgery, I had a few unread emails in my inbox.  Right now there are 789. Yup.  789.  And, since I'm not still not feeling quite up to par, consider this my notice that I will be only blogging over at my other blog only for a while.  I'll try to shoot back here around Advent.

Take care!

Wheat Free, Dairy Free, Egg Free Chocolate Chip Bars

This are called "Breakfast Bars" or "Friday Bars" at our house because they are the breakfast the kids get on Friday.  I don't eat them because of the rice flour, which I use to prevent me from eating them (I'm allergic to rice...weird, I know.)  These are YUMMY, so say my kids and others who have tried them.

Wheat Free, Dairy Free, Egg Free Chocolate Chip Bars
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Spray or grease a 9x13" pan.
Mix:
2 Tbsp Chia Seed meal with 6 Tbsp hot water

Cream together:
1 stick Earth Balance or 1/2 Dairy Free Butter Substitute
1/2 c. granulated sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar

Add:
Chia seed mixture
2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 c. vegetable oil

Mix until emulsified.

In a separate bowl, combine the following then add to wet ingredients:
2 c. oat flour (I use rolled oats processed in the blender)
1 c. rice flour
1 tsp. xanthan gum
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup dairy free chocolate chips

Spread batter in pan.  Bake 22-27 minutes.  Cool and serve.

Tears That Make a Mom Happy

Today we made a long overdue trip to the library.  We got there late due to several extenuating circumstances such that we only had 30 minutes to pick out books and check out before the library closed.

Now, I had told all six children we were going to the library this morning.  We had planned for other errands we were running today before the library, but no one remembered their library cards.  So, with 3 minutes left before the library was going to close, six children lined up behind me to check out their items on my card.  By the time we got to the sixth, we had reached the 30 item limit.  My twelve year old daughter only got one book.  She went and put her other books back and met me in the parking lot, eyes full of tears.

She said she felt so ridiculous for crying.  But, I hugged her and told her I was happy that she was crying over not being able to check out books.  That not being able to get new books makes her cry makes me happy because this is a girl that thirsts for knowledge.  Our home library is large, but never large enough for my darling daughter and I'm happy about that.   I'm happy the library is one of the most sought after destinations on our days out.

TV Viewing

I post this risking that I will be viewed as Puritanical.  So be it! But we are not.  We have two TV's.  But we make very specific choices about how we use them.

Parental choice is just that, choice.  We made a choice over 12 years ago to not let our kids watch live TV.  Even way back then, in 2000, we were seeing things on TV that made us, the parents of a toddler and an infant, cringe.  Now sometimes, yes, we do watch live TV, like when there are weather events that require our attention. 

Then comes this report:
New Study Nudity on Prime Time TV Up 6,300% Over Last Year

Nope, that is not a typo.  6,300%.

My daughters recently attended Schoenstatt Camp, a Catholic Camp for girls run by a beautiful order of secular Catholic Nuns called the Schoenstatt Sisters.  One topic they cover is "Media Choices."  One thing they provide to the girls is a nice little tent to put next to the TV that says, "What Would Jesus and Mary Watch?"  There were some camp missionaries there that reminded the girls that watching things that might be "just a little" offensive desensitizes our brains such that eventually, the kids can't remember what was offensive in the first place.  A lot of things work that way.

Pornography also works that way with boys.  They become desensitized to girls in bikinis.  Then, that's not offensive anymore and they move on.  And on.  At our last local homeschool conference, the keynote speaker also talked about this.  I was pleased to see that psychologists, two of them, who commented on the results of the research in this article agreed and even commented how pixelating body parts and bleeping swear words was just not enough.

She stressed that the pixilated or blurred nudity does not give the networks a free pass.
“The impact is virtually the same as actually showing it. Just as ‘bleeping’ an ‘f-word’ or ‘s-word’ is virtually the same as airing the actual word,” Henson continued. “It just calls attention to the thing that has been edited out.”
L.A.-based therapist Dr. Nancy Irwin agrees.
"Simulated or blurred nudity can be just as titillating as real nudity in the human brain. Upon any stimulus, the brain searches for anything remotely similar or familiar, and reacts in a similar manner," she said. "If something is missing -- as in pixelization -- the brain will fill in the blanks from the existing storehouse of knowledge. Indeed, it will work harder to do so than if the real image were there. This explains why fantasy is many times better than reality. It triggers our imagination, which is endless."

Isn't a girl wearing a bikini, in essence, just pixilating out certain portions of her body?  But I digress...

The truth is, there isn't much left Mary and Jesus could watch.  What we, as parents, consider worse are the commercials.  Live sports are wrought with commercials geared at young hormonal men.  It's not just the shows.  The commercials are just as bad or worse. So we hold fast to using the TiVo and prerecorded content to control our kids viewing because our choice is not to expose them to that.  Again, there are exceptions, but they are very few.

The sad part is, that when innocence of any kind is lost, it is lost forever.  You can not replace it, correct it, restore it.  It is replaced by experience.  Not all of those experiences are good or appropriate.

One of the great things about reading great literature and Great Books is that their meaning is timeless.  William Blake, a poet and artist from early 19th century England wrote a beautiful poem.  I hope you can appreciate it's beauty and truth.

From Songs of Experience

By William Blake

A Little Girl Lost

Children of the future age,
Reading this indignant page,
Know that in a former time
Love, sweet love, was thought a crime.

In the age of gold,
Free from winter's cold,
Youth and maiden bright,
To the holy light,
Naked in the sunny beams delight.

Once a youthful pair,
Filled with softest care,
Met in garden bright
Where the holy light
Had just removed the curtains of the night.

Then, in rising day,
On the grass they play;
Parents were afar,
Strangers came not near,
And the maiden soon forgot her fear.

Tired with kisses sweet,
They agree to meet
When the silent sleep
Waves o'er heaven's deep,
And the weary tired wanderers weep.

To her father white
Came the maiden bright;
But his loving look,
Like the holy book
All her tender limbs with terror shook.

'Ona, pale and weak,
To thy father speak!
Oh the trembling fear!
Oh the dismal care
That shakes the blossoms of my hoary hair!'

When Pride and Prejudice Marries Sense and Sensibility

Edward Ferrars

Meet Edward Ferrars from Sense and Sensibility, the sensible and friendly third child of his family. Edward develops a close relationship with Elinor Elizabeth Bennet and ultimately marries her, after he is freed from a four-year relationship to someone else.

In the real Sense and Sensibility, he loves Elinor, the sensible one.  He is honor-bound, however this Mr. Ferrars is far more articulate.  In this story, he loves Elizabeth Bennet.

Elizabeth Bennet

The second daughter in her family, Elizabeth is the protagonist of Pride and Prejudice. Her admirable qualities are numerous.  Nevertheless, her sharp tongue and tendency to make hasty judgments often lead her astray; When Pride and Prejudice Marries Sense and Sensibility is essentially the story of how she (and her true love, Darcy Mr. Ferrars) overcome all obstacles—including their own personal failings—to find romantic happiness. She must  overcome her own mistaken impressions of Darcy humankind.  As she gradually comes to recognize the nobility of Darcy’s character kindness of the human heart, she realizes the error of her initial prejudice against humanity, thanks to Mr. Ferrars.


This is a love story, really.  So, now you know the two main characters, here's a summary.

Intro:
Elizabeth finds she has some medical conditions (several, actually) that require her to have major surgery.  Unfortunately for the last year, Elizabeth has been suffering from a great deal of medical maladies, underwent batteries of tests.  Finally, she was referred to an OB/GYN.

Ch. 1:
Elizabeth finds out from her OB/GYN after more tests she has several conditions which need to be addressed.  Many of those conditions can have the symptoms relieved, to some extent, through the use of Artificial Contraceptives or other methods of sterilization.  However, there is one condition for which the only correction was major surgery.  Elizabeth tells Mr. Ferrars of the diagnosis, the medical advice she's been given and his response?  Pray.  Very typical Mr. Ferrars type advice.  He does, after all want to become a clergyman!  So, pray Elizabeth did and she consulted her parish priest. This recommendation feels like it is in conflict with her faith, feeling that this will result in her turning away from the Church's teachings on being open to life.  She and Mr. Ferrars are the happy parents of six beautiful children aged 3-14. The gentle priest, whom after listening to the medical diagnosis and advice of the doctor for a total hysterectomy, advises her to follow her doctor's recommendations.  That given the conditions she has, the procedure was medically necessary.  The priest also thanked Elizabeth and Mr. Ferrars for her openness to life, which she really needed to hear.

Ch. 2:
Scheduling such a procedure with a very busy Mr. Ferrars and so many children caused Elizabeth to delay.  Partly because she was still working through all the mental issues with no longer being able to have another child that she had to resolve and partly because the very handsome Mr. Ferrars would be away for a week in July because he's a Scoutmaster, Elizabeth delayed scheduling the procedure.  After many heartfelt conversations with Mr. Ferrars and a very few close family members and friends, Elizabeth scheduled the surgery, trying to balance family commitment with the need to have recovery time.

Ch. 3:
As summer progresses, Elizabeth secretly harbors prejudices that she will be judged on her and Mr. Ferrars decision to have a total hysterectomy.  She begins to feel judged, even for other things, which is her weakness.  Her sharp side comes out and she declares to Mr. Ferrars that the information about her surgery should be on a need-to-know basis.  He, because he is best husband in the world, respects her wishes.

Ch. 4:
As the surgery date approached, Elizabeth lived her life to the fullest, enjoying every moment, mostly because she harbored fears of not living through surgery.  She did everything she could to enjoy every moment with Mr. Ferrars and the children and didn't regret a moment of it.

Ch. 5:
The surgery date approaches and Elizabeth can't bring herself to kiss the children in the morning for fear it would be the last time and she didn't want to give into that horrible fear niggling at her.  She and Mr. Ferrars arrived at the hospital and went through all the motions.  The physician met with them prior to the surgery explaining all the procedures that would be taken and gave Mr. Ferrars an estimate of the time it would take for the surgery, two hours.  The anesthesiologist met with Elizabeth and Mr. Ferrars and discussed the possibility of trying a medication during surgery to which Elizabeth previously had an apparent allergic reaction.  They agreed that in this environment, it was the best medication to use and Elizabeth was in the safest environment should a reaction actually happen.  Elizabeth secretly feared she was done for.  Mr. Ferrars, ever the cool husband, kissed Elizabeth.  That is the last thing she remembered as they wheeled her to the OR.

Ch. 6:
Elizabeth wakes up in recovery desperately itchy and struggling for breath.  Gasping, she tells the nurses she can't breathe and the regular routine happens, benedryl, oxygen, close monitoring.  She still can't tell what time it is and feels so groggy she can't come up out of the medication.  Finally, she wakes up and is told that her Mr. Ferrars will be waiting for her in her room.  She barely remembers the ride up to her room.  He's there smiling, with a card.  Ever the comedian, the card says, "Thank You" on the front.  Inside it says, "For pulling through..."  Laughing hurts.  He explains that the reason it is 3:00, much later than she expected to be out was not because of the medication or allergic reaction, but because the two hour surgery lasted over five hours, not two.  He explained, as best he could, all the reasons for the delay, then explained that the OB/GYN's parting message was this was something that really, really needed to be done.

The good doctor knew that a part of Elizabeth, the prideful side, was still hanging on the the possibility that this was not a medically necessary procedure.  The same prideful side of Elizabeth that also had worried so much about what others would think of her having a total hysterectomy at the age of 45, so much that Elizabeth wasn't willing to tell many close friends.

Ch. 7:
Mr. Ferrars took the week off to help Elizabeth recover, and even when he went back to work, made sure he took on all the extras, from removing the children from Elizabeth's room when they were annoying or tiring her, to removing them from the house when she just needed quiet.  Mr. Ferrars has gone on countless errands after long, long days at work because Elizabeth, while cleared to drive now, still has NO energy and was told by the doctor that it will take another three to four weeks for that to return.  Mr. Ferrars has accommodated his schedule to run errands and switched vehicles so she doesn't have to climb into a full sized van, while recovering from major abdominal surgery.  Mr. Ferrars, the real hero of this story, understands that Elizabeth will probably not be able to lift more than 20 lbs for at least the next eight weeks and possibly forever.  And he has never complained.  Not even once.

While Elizabeth has snipped about her children not helping quickly enough with chores because her pride insisted her house stay the way she kept it.  While Mr. Ferrars did everything she asked and more, she sniped about how she doesn't know or can't guess how she'll ever get ready for school.  He never has complained.  Not even once.

Conclusion:
Perhaps it is because he said that their love, sex life, marriage can withstand anything. Perhaps it is because he reminded Elizabeth there is always adoption.  Perhaps it is just because they were meant to be.  So, here Elizabeth, in the final chapter, is remembering and thanking the good Lord above for her beloved Mr. Ferrars and hoping she can learn to be more like him. 

Partial credit for the character summaries goes to Sparknotes.com.  The rest of the credit goes to Jane Austen for creating two characters I love and to whom I can relate.